Testing Times

Early last week I was assigned to my bed, slight high temperature, very tired , difficulty standing and tad delerious. My great wife moved in arranged blood test and urine sample. ( straight for the jugular facts ). Doctors announced I had a urinary tract infection , prescribed plenty of water antibiotic and rest.

The Doctor wanted me to self measure blood pressure four times a day and dial emergency if I felt worse. My daughter went to a local Pharmacist and bought a blood pressure measurer for 50 dollars. It was a good one she told me as it spoke back the results to me. We tried.it and first Reading was 176 over 148 pulse 45. The machine announced ‘ you are about to experience an heart attack, dial 911immediately ‘. My daughter looked at me I felt even worse and I said take a second reading. At that point the machine failed, presumably it expected that I was dead already. Silence spread as all vital signs off the machine shut.

I had a rough night and next day walked with my daughter to the Pharmacist. I told the guy in the white coat what happened as I asked for a refund. He stood there for what seemed like an eternity unsure what to do looking at the box and the machine a thousand times. I decided to put him out of his misery and said ‘ look don’t worry keep it and sell me a machine that doesn’t speak to me, I pointed at a Braun ‘. Suddenly White Coat realised that I hadn’t tried to get a free reading for 24 hours and as the other one was a Braun and 5 bucks more was happy to charge more and give a refund. He finally accepted that dead man walking wasn’t a con artist. My only concern then was that white coat was the one that really needed to get a life for he must have lost his many moons ago.

We took the Braun back, measured 146 over 65 and all was well , slightly high normal. I still felt rough and headed for the town called Rest. Meantime President Trump 6000 miles away was found Covid positive and en route to lots of White Coats Doctors . The nation gulped as they pondered Pelosi as President and the Election looked even more confused. Conflicting reports came from the White Coats and the White House no one knew. Then suddenly Trooper Trump appears in his black motor cavalcade riding up and down the street waving to everyone. Was he out claiming fake testing and looking for a refund or what was really going on.

Time will tell , will he won’t he , dead or alive there will be evidence and more tests. Then UK Government announce that 15000 test results for Covid have been lost and the PM says it was a ‘ technical glitch ‘ , presumably he had bought ones that spoke back ? ( now I know why White Coat in the Pharmacy looked so worried ).

These are Testing times. Thanks everyone for you’re get well messages and sorry I’ve not been able to reply but I’ve been indisposed and I don’t , like The President tweet, plus I did need the rest clearly. Latest reading 140 over 65 and ready for another 1000 years. You got to take time out for this crazy world and you’ve got to switch off that alarm phone constant pinging. You need to be Ill privately at times. Otherwise you will be taken away in that White Car. Or permanent Black car cavalcade.

Something to think about.