On Friday my wife and her siblings prepare to bury their mother. In the previous blog ‘ It’s not her fault ‘ I spoke of her struggle with dementia, a challenge as much for the family to cope as for her to deal with. Due to the pandemic restrictions , a maximum of 30 will gather in her Baptist Church. The family has however planned as the perhaps only the Indian tech boffins can , to stream the funeral via You Tube. Many will watch no doubt and once again the internet a network for good brings those near and far together.
The service has been meticulously planned and each of the four siblings will deliver eulogy and testimony of her life. The hymns have been carefully chosen and the coffin is to be carried by her grandsons. The black horses will bring the cortège to the cemetery where she will be laid to rest upon her husband in accord with their wishes.
Pre funeral the Adrenalin flows and often after the event the bereavement will begin, the grieving start and the realisation that she is no longer here will settle in. The measure of love can often be the flip side of our grief, the price that we pay to love is to also prepare to suffer. One friend of mine whose wife died before him was grateful that it was he that would suffer her absence and that she avoided the pain that he had to undergo. That’s love.
Love can last forever but in that we should realise that our lives are a window and in love there will never be enough time together. Regrets enter that I never did or say something or apologise. ‘ Little things I should have said and done but I just never took the time ‘ was a lyric lament of the 1972 Elvis Presley in his song ‘ Always on my mind ‘ link below is a favourite of mine. Of course as Christians death should be a celebration of life and the move into the eternal life, a place free of pain and sorrow which we so often experience here on earth. It is a place of rest an unimaginable realm and continued life.
We all marry strangers, we spend our time learning to love and learning to care. We produce children , build families where love becomes the central binder, the very essence , the raison d’etre, then at some point we bid farewell to love for it only to continue in legacy and memories. So, we must cherish each moment that we are together for there will be a farewell and a going ahead until love reunites in that better place.For those that are yet or who have never loved , then , your time is yet to come and only then will you probably appreciate these words. Love is giving and in giving we receive, in receiving we live.
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