39

The Church was full the sun shone brightly. The ring from the crystal heard from the luxury hotel, the champagne on ice , the 200 guests ready, the Priest steadied. The music sung the vows given, the red carpet rolled, the stage set 39 years ago today.

Today the majority of guests I never see, the best man is dead, the luxury hotel closed with Covid, the Crystal rests, music none, the Church locked, the red carpet stored and the marriage ended 30 years previous. like nearly 100,000 marriages in UK last year the marriage ended in divorce , roughly one in three and the risk of second marriage failing is nigh on 50%. In America divorce rates are circa 45% per annum. Marriage is widespread , divorce a pandemic.

In Chapter 2 of Malachi it tells us ‘ God hates divorce ‘ , He hates it because He knows the trouble it brings and the damage it wrecks on families , mental health and lives. The vow ‘ I will ‘ needs to read ‘ I’ll try ‘ , it would reflect a more honest contract and a truer picture. I recently sat in an online divorce hearing as an observer, the virus has never stopped the Divorce lawyers plying their woes as they carve up the assets of assent, an assent of before as the warring couple offer themselves to be butchered often in public on the altar of acrimony. When children are involved the Divorce lawyers have ‘ weapons ‘ as one American lawyer once told me and they are used as ransom.

Your marriage only has value if there are assets to carve up , the so called professionals are not interested in pauper people and you can get a cheap online application these days to end matters. The grounds for divorce , usually ‘ unreasonable behaviour ‘ covers a multitude of grievances and somewhere somehow someone will find one that suits your mess. Irretrievable breakdown is less used but that’s effectively what it is and terminology less used as it does not conjure up enough angst.

The £1000 an hour lawyers, sorry £995 per hour lawyers are waiting out there for you now, waiting to instruct their favourite QC to wrestle you from your wallet and your spouse. Nowadays they advertise that even if you live together you have rights to wreck and they have extended the laws to mop up any eventuality of animosity. Once the Decree Nisi is issued or should I say the Decree Nasty one waits for the Decree Absolute then you’re free to make the same choice again. The Divorce lawyers are still there and the Courts clearly unlike the Churches never close.

As we sing ‘ Here comes the bride ‘ someone in a City law firm is singing ‘ Here comes the client ‘ or more appropriate’ Here comes the victim ‘. Of course it need not be like that if we work hard to work things out to build homes and happy families that build communities and countries making them a strong fortress for the inevitable problems that life brings. Today we have celebrity divorce lawyers , we hear of them in newspapers and weekend magazines, like pop stars they are idolised for their extraction expertise and Society has mistakingly billed them in lime light when their trade is dark and dismal. Counsel are billed as Heavyweights like boxers and the only people on the ropes are the couple as their Union is smashed on the ruinous rocks.

Yet, there is hope. Marriage remains as the great union and if we try it will work and we will all be better off. Today some will tie that knot and with God in that Union the third strand of rope you have a better prospect, a stronger rope to tie and to pull you both out when in difficult times, for they will come …for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health , till death do us part. Don’t you just love those vows. I recommend marriage and most of all recommend you stay away from those lawyers. They really are not good for your health and your wealth.

39 Steps was a wonderful movie, featuring that incredible Memory Man. Let your life memories be sweet and try not look back in sadness or board the wrong train in your life. Though you can alight best stay on to your final destination and reap the rewards of Union and Unity with uninterrupted legacy and celebrate Silver, Ruby and Gold as it was intended.